Those Who Can't

Principal Quinn tasks the guys with helping a shy kid win the student election, but they do their jobs a little too well and unwittingly create a monster. Abbey and Quinn have a fight over Smoot High's debate practices.

The teachers protest poor working conditions by going on strike, Shoemaker and Abbey butt heads over who's the real strike leader, and Loren and Rod tailgate the event...leaving Quinn and Tammy to man the understaffed school.

Shoemaker and Abbey work to get the vending machine returned after it's removed by the PTA. Later, Loren clashes with his old teacher while Fairbell's sexual orientation is discovered.

After a lice outbreak at Smoot, Loren takes matters into his own hands and commands the "hot zone." Shoemaker and Tammy square off in a haircutting contest, while Abbey revisits some not-so-fond high school memories.

After leading the JV Girls Volleyball team to the State Championship, Fairbell gets benched when the PTA appoints a new coach. Plus, Shoemaker takes asst. coaching a bit too far, and Loren schemes for a shady game sponsor.

The guys come to school drunk on the day Superintendent Carson promises to fire the worst teacher. Shoemaker has a medical flare-up, Loren maintains a buzz in order to save face, and Fairbell makes a ridiculous new friend.

Shoemaker is tormented by a disturbing sex dream, and the drama teacher wrongly advises him to act on it. Meanwhile, Fairbell befriends the new school police officer even though the rest of the gang tries to get rid of him.

A former student leaves a threatening letter for the gang, and they quickly realize they're stuck in the middle of his sick, murderous game. Trapped in school at night, with corpses piling up, the teachers fight for survival.

The teachers relive their glory days at Senior Prom, Fairbell and Abbey's "friend date" is a disaster, Quinn has the worst night of his life, and Shoemaker's looming divorce helps him get his angry band back together.